When the Spring Comes
by Fruipit
Summary: Life's never perfect, but for Elsa Arendelle, it seems to be getting just a little better. She and Hans are finally going to be parents, but fate has other plans for what was supposed to be a joyous occasion. [Elsanna, /not/ Helsa/Hanna] [rated for language/content] (updates mon/wed/fri)
1. Notes

Hi guys! This is just going to be a small, ongoing side-project to my other stories. For the next month-or-so, I'm really busy with school. I don't, and won't, have time to spare. But, I don't want to stop writing. This is an idea that's been in my head for a while, but I'm doing it in '100 word drabble' format. There won't be any ANs. If you have any questions, PM me, or my Tumblr ask is always open. _Slight_ Helsa at the beginning. Elsanna endgame.

Thank you!  
– Fruipit


	2. Chapter 1

She waits with bated breath against the bathroom wall. Elsa doesn't know what to expect of the next few hours – of Hans' reaction – and she tugs uncertainly at the sheer material atop her skin. It's been a while – too long, Hans would (will) say – since they had last been... intimate.

She told him she wouldn't be home. She lied, naturally. Her therapist only smiled at the news (though tentative), and Elsa stopped by the chemist to verify.

She hears the front door open and bites her lip. Steps silently from the bathroom.

Then, she can't breathe.


	3. Chapter 2

The apartment is dark, though that's not what has Elsa's breath catching. The stark white walls leer down at her as she peers through the gloom; the light filtering in from the city is not quite bright enough for details.

Elsa knows she isn't seen, and though it's a recurring trend with Hans, this is the first time she's glad for it.

She recalls, faintly, having changed the sheets that afternoon. The soft, clean Japanese orchid set now adorns their bed – a wedding present they'd consummated on.

Now, he is hovering over another girl.


	4. Chapter 3

Elsa runs to the bathroom before Hans sees her. Before he and his guest knows she's there. She collapses over the sink, staring into the mirror.

Gaunt cheeks and deep circles. Her blonde hair hangs loosely over a shoulder, and she knows she looks unwell. Her wedding pictures, packed away safely for several months, show a much younger Elsa, vibrant and full of life. Someone content. Someone whom her husband loved.

Her hand goes to her navel as the first sounds appear, and Elsa can't hold back the sobs.

It should be her out there. Not another woman.


	5. Chapter 4

Anna can't fathom the change. Their couplings only ever took place at her home or a hotel (that he paid for) – not his home. The short glance she'd managed explained why. There's no warmth, no personality. It looks like an IKEA home, save for the flower bedspread he swiftly led her to, reeking comfort and familiarity. She's honoured to glimpse this aspect.

She holds him close as he enters her, murmuring names. " _Anna_ ," sounds steadily louder as he moves, accompanying three little, significant words as he comes.

Her heart swells.

Six months and he loves her.


	6. Chapter 5

He holds her close, nose in her hair; picks up her right hand and fingers the ring on her finger, smiling while she rolls on top of him, kissing deeply. His hands roam down her body, and he looks at her with warm eyes.

They're an olive green colour that compliments him. Her teal orbs bring out the freckles on her face and ugly red of her hair. She likes his eyes more.

He nuzzles her and repeats his words; the emotion in her chest aches, stings; but it's good.

That feeling is better than any physical intimacy.


	7. Chapter 6

She wants nothing more than to stay in his arms, but a less pleasant pressure at her navel convinces her to stand and make her way on unsteady legs to the bathroom. She wonders, briefly, at the small pieces of home. The vase of lilies and knitted doilies beneath photographs.

Hans and his sister – he mentioned her, in passing. Not with any good taste. Elsa, he'd frowned, and was reluctant to speak. Anna understood his pain.

Seeing her, though... she struck a gorgeous figure. The blood between them can't be so terrible, if he still showed her proudly.


	8. Chapter 7

She pauses a moment, picking up a white frame. The two siblings smile from the photograph, and Anna can't help but think that Elsa's is more radiant. They're not all that young, either – perhaps the same as Anna's own tender twenty-two. She knows Hans is almost thirty. Elsa must be a few years younger.

"Your sister is beautiful," she calls out, putting the photograph down.

Hans answers in a grunt, following with a, "She was, once." Anna puts the photograph down and continues to the bathroom. She wonders what changed as she opens the door.


	9. Chapter 8

Elsa doesn't glance up as the door opens. She doesn't want to face Hans – but, when a choked gasp echoes in the small space, she can't help but look up because it's definitely not her husband's timbre.

A girl, barely out of teens, stands at the door, a hand over her mouth and eyes filling.

 _Sister..._

She didn't know. He lied, to the both of them, and Elsa thinks she might be sick at the evidence of his transgressions as it leaks to the floor.

To have and to hold, until death.

Apparently not.


	10. Chapter 9

_Oh God._

Anna's extremely aware of her own nudity, and the near-enough state of the woman, curled foetal on the floor.

 _God she heard everything..._

The shine of a ring torments her, and Anna feels _disgusted_ , in herself and the man waiting. Not waiting for his wife.

Barely twenty and she's destroyed a family; Elsa's sheer lingerie is only a prelude to the positive marker, still clenched in her hand.

When the woman pulls her down and embraces her, Anna hugs back, if only because (as unfair as it seems)... her life is breaking apart, too.


	11. Chapter 10

It could be hours, though it might just be minutes, that the woman stems her tears. She doesn't look at Anna, as the girl expected, with hatred or anger. There's a deep sorrow present, and something else unidentifiable. Like a candle too obscured by smoke to truly shine bright. And Anna doesn't – _can't_ – blame her.

Anna reaches over and tugs a towel around herself; the woman slumps bonelessly against her. She seems so small and frail, so exhausted.

She had the best news, only to be destroyed by the worst night.

"Anna, baby. Where are you?"


	12. Chapter 11

_Anna._

Elsa didn't want to know this woman- this _girl's_ name. It's all too real.

She stands on wobbly legs, pushing herself away from the girl. Red hair and freckles and Elsa doesn't even have to wonder why. She's pretty and young _– naïve –_ and it's all so unfair.

This night was supposed to change their lives. Not like this.

Elsa steps out from the bathroom, wiping at her face. Ignoring the memory of sounds she'd never wanted to hear.

Everything was rectifiable. She could still save this – her marriage, her life.

Her baby.


	13. Chapter 12

He can't believe his eyes.

Elsa _lied_ to him, about being home. Anna had been pestering to visit, and he couldn't keep up the façade without losing her.

Fucking Elsa. If she hadn't lied...

So, yeah, Hans was fully aware of what he was doing, but he couldn't _really_ be blamed? His own wife hadn't put out in weeks, and even months before that she'd refuse him.

He'd married a woman. He hadn't signed up for babysitting a depressed woman of no use.

So really, it was _Elsa's_ fault. Not his.


	14. Chapter 13

He has to make a decision. When Elsa is followed by Anna, he glances; compares the two. Who is worth more? Because Elsa's family, they're pretty rich. Pretty well-off (but she never accepted their money anyway). Anna is a struggling med student who has fallen asleep during coitus several times, but damn, at least she's there.

She's younger than Elsa. Bigger breasts and definitely more fun in bed.

It's almost too easy to put on that frown of guilt – _sadness?_ – and move towards Anna.

"I'm sorry, Elsa," he says. "I'm so sorry."


	15. Chapter 14

Anna thinks she might just be sick. Hans is standing next to her, his hand on her waist, watching as Elsa breaks down on the other side of the room. Elsa chokes for a moment; wipes at her eyes.

"Y-you said until death," she sobs, and Anna can feel her _own_ heart breaking. How can Hans be so cavalier? He promised himself to this woman and yet he sought out Anna's company. He came to her _months_ ago.

And coward as she is, all she does is watch as Hans passes Elsa a bag.

"It's my apartment."


	16. Chapter 15

It's long after Elsa has left, and Anna does nothing but regret. Hans is fast asleep, snoring on flower bedsheets. It's after midnight by now, and a chill has settled in the air.

Anna's thrown up thrice. Hans didn't notice.

She's rifling through the medicine cabinet, looking for ibuprofen, when she sees them. The little containers. Fluvoxamine and escitalopram.

Her eyes align on the pregnancy test and a coldness settles on her skin.

Hans' first words to her when she shows him the test are, "Fuck no, I'm not having a kid with you."


	17. Chapter 16

"Sorry, Darl. Gon' hafta ask ye ta leave 'less ye buyin' somethin'."

Elsa glances up at the waitress. Old and grey, chewing gum and smelling like a pack of cigarettes, Elsa's only reminded of her situation.

She pulls her bag over – the single bag Hans gave, filled with a few clothes, her computer, and the papers she was supposed to mark – and rifles through for her wallet.

Her actions become desperate when she can't find it.

 _No, no, no..._

"I'll get it. Two hot chocolates."

Elsa's breath catches as a girl sits across from her.

Anna.


	18. Chapter 17

Anna's smart. She _is_ a med student, after all.

And, she's a smart enough girl to realise that Hans pledged himself to Elsa but didn't keep that promise. His own promises, whispered in the heat of the moment, probably mean even less. He'd been more than happy to soil her, use her – she'd wanted to use condoms! He'd been desperate to get her on the pill, completely abandoning latex once she was.

She's told him it was Elsa's, and his only reply was, "But I love _you_ , Baby."

It made Anna sick.


	19. Chapter 18

Anna had managed to wait until Hans was asleep. Not that she had a problem sneaking out – it was sneaking out _with_ some of Elsa's things. Going through the purses for anything left behind (there was a wallet, a set of keys, and three barley sugars).

Grabbing the anti-depressants and not bothering with tampons.

She refused to be responsible for kicking a pregnant woman out of her home. Though Hans had done the kicking, it was all her fault.

It was far too good to be true. She'd been a fool to think he'd liked her.


	20. Chapter 19

Elsa _can_ contact her family. She knows this. There's nothing but her own pride stopping her.

Her parents had attended her wedding, but they hadn't been happy. Now, she's doubting her own joy.

So, she _can_ contact her family – knows she _should_. They'd help...

...But they'd expect her to come home, to Norway, and Elsa doesn't want – _can't_ – uproot her life. Not now. She's made a life here, literally and figuratively.

Her dreams as a child were to find someone she loves and... make her own family.

None of them featured betrayal.


	21. Chapter 20

When Anna speaks, Elsa wants to be angry. She's got her purse and her meds. She doesn't need this girl, or her pity.

She can't stop some of the bitterness leaking into her voice: "Why don't you run back to my husband and my bed?"

Anna winces visibly. "It's not the place for me," she says. "Where will you stay?"

Elsa doesn't answer, and Anna takes a breath.

"Stay with me. I'll take the couch. We don't even have to interact, promise."

A pause.

"... Please let me make it up to you..."


	22. Chapter 21

Following Anna into the redhead's tiny apartment, she knows the girl just wants to make up for her mistakes. Elsa's homeless and pregnant.

She needs this help.

But she can't think of the words to thank her, torn with the knowledge that, but for Anna, her marriage might not have failed.

She knows she's fooling herself. Hans would've just found someone else.

She stands awkwardly in the kitchen, barely big enough for one. Elsa's given the bed, fully aware that Anna's awake on the couch.

She's sure her sobs are heard, too.


	23. Chapter 22

Anna knows they need to talk. For heaven's sake, Elsa heard her through the walls as she slept with her husband. They _need_ to talk.

But Elsa seems adamant to avoid all interaction, save for what is completely necessary. Anna wonders if she has any friends who could help her, because really. Who would stay at the home of their husband's mistress, unless they really had no other choice. She owes Anna nothing, no matter how much the red-head wants to help.

Elsa has a job, so what about her friends? Colleagues? Surely she has someone...

Family?


	24. Chapter 23

Elsa feels empty most days. She should feel bad about taking Anna's bed while the redhead takes the couch, because the girl has little enough sleep as it is.

But... Elsa doesn't... She's doesn't feel much of anything lately. Anna told her (one of the few words they'd exchanged) that Hans knows she's pregnant.

He hasn't contacted either girl.

And Anna just wants to make things right, but how can she?

But... Elsa feels _something_ when Anna leaves a small sticky note on the fridge.

 _I know an obstetrician. She's really nice._


	25. Chapter 24

According to the internet, her baby is probably about the size of a tadpole, with a little tail and everything.

Elsa makes an appointment for the end of the week, and debates asking Anna if she'd come.

Because this is it. The proof that she actually is pregnant. It's something she'd always wanted to do with her husband, but that's not happening.

She doesn't want to do alone, but neither does she want Anna there with her. That's too personal.

She doesn't know what she wants. She wants support.

She needs a friend.


	26. Chapter 25

The obstetrician is lovely. She's young and friendly, and the first thing she says to Elsa is, "Hello, new mommy!"

She's a lot nicer than the 'family doctor' Hans picked out. She actually seems to care. Well... she _is_ Anna's friend...

She fills the silence when Elsa doesn't want to speak, giving little hints about morning sickness and eating less animal protein. It's an easy appointment, and Elsa is feeling calmer than she has in weeks.

When it's time for Elsa to ask questions, she hesitates.

"...Will anything be... _different_... because of the clinic?"


	27. Chapter 26

Anna's able to completely avoid Elsa by virtue of being a student. She always remembers to leave food in the fridge while pregnancy books begin making their way onto the coffee-table.

Elsa starts going back to work, teaching little first-graders. Despite the limited time spent together, Anna thinks Elsa looks... happier.

But, really, they don't talk. Dead on her feet after a harrowing shift, Anna doesn't expect to see Elsa – and certainly not in the kitchen, a bowl of caesar salad on the bench.

"The- uh," Elsa begins, before stopping. "I just... T-thank you."


	28. Chapter 27

School is a brilliant reprieve. Elsa had forgotten just how much she missed her students – and, apparently, how much they missed her.

She had only been away for a few weeks, and coming back to the yellow-and-blue painted room with its smiling faces and crafty dècor was like coming home.

There are twenty students in her class, which meant twenty hugs and twenty cards. Their substitute wasn't one of the old, cranky teachers, it seemed.

"Now," she grins, once they are calm and seated. "I think the room needs a little seasonal change. What do you say?"


	29. Chapter 28

Everything hits Elsa in one brief moment during class. Her students are colouring in, and she's pregnant.

She's pregnant.

There is a little life growing inside her, and her heart _swells_ at the thought because isn't that beautiful?

She doesn't even notice that tears have begun to fall until one of her students, a little girl named Belle, taps her on her shoulder.

"Miss Elsa?" she asks, biting her lip and looking up with worried eyes.

Elsa wipes at her face. "I'm fine, Sweetie," she says. And she is. She really is.

She's happy.


	30. Chapter 29

Between talking and _not_ talking to Elsa; between exams and class, interning and a _real_ job, Anna spends more time crying than not.

Elsa doesn't notice that she doesn't coming home some nights (if she does, she says nothing). Those nights, Anna _can't_ return, instead finding comfort in the only person who won't judge her. Curled in his arms, she breaks down completely.

"I tore apart a family, Kristoff," she sobs, and he can't do much but hold her because there's no comforting Anna about this.

No one can really comfort her about family.


	31. Chapter 30

As it turns out, Kristoff is wrong.

He can't make it all better, but just being there helps. Frankly, Anna needs someone. This Elsa woman is probably only person who could make it better, but that doesn't mean Kristoff can't wipe Anna's face and _try_.

Anna's had her new roommate for three weeks, and eight times she's visited Kristoff, crying.

Nothing is looking up until the ninth visit, when she says softly, "Elsa took my suggestion. She... thanked me..."

She smiles because she's helping. She's making amends.

And Elsa's letting her.


	32. Chapter 31

Finally, Anna gets a break in the form of study week. Unfortunately, it has the side-effect of forcing her to spend time with Elsa. Neither are comfortable, but it's not at all unpleasant.

Anna can't explain it.

She's about to visit Kristoff when she sees Elsa sitting on the floor of what used to be Anna's room, reading Kaz Cooke's books on pregnancy. Anna wonders when last she went out.

She wants to spend some happy time with Kristoff, but she can't ignore Elsa.

"Hey..." she begins. "Do you... wanna see a movie?


	33. Chapter 32

Elsa's not sure why she agreed to this. It could be because she's still riding the high of _being pregnant_ , but that's not the main reason.

She's lonely.

She's never had many friends, and the only people she sees regularly are six.

But now she's living with an intelligent woman she doesn't talk to because of Hans'. That's... not really fair on either of them.

After three weeks of observation (has it only been three?), Elsa's confident she's got Anna sussed out.

The blond boy with her is definitely new.


	34. Chapter 33

Anna's... really bouncy when she introduces Kristoff.

Elsa's not used to other people and she's barely friends with Anna as it is – who is this boy? Is Anna just being cruel?

The redhead doesn't notice Elsa's distress, but Kristoff does. While Anna's at the snack bar, he leans down and says, almost off-hand, "How's living with adult-Anna like? As a kid, she was a monster." His grin comes easily, and Elsa can't fully hide her surprise.

"Oh?"

He nods. "Do you have any siblings?"

Suddenly, Elsa's not so upset.


	35. Chapter 34

The drive home is silent. Elsa doesn't have a car, and this is only the second time she's been in Anna's. The movie was good, but neither really think about that.

Anna wants to break the silence because she wants to get to know this girl. Sneaking a glance at Elsa, the poor woman is tense as a mouse, her hands clenched on her lap.

She's not showing yet.

Anna bites her lip and wonders if Elsa only agreed to coming because she felt she must.

"That was fun," she tries.

And Elsa nods... and smiles.


	36. Chapter 35

Elsa's next appointment is two weeks later, and just like the first time, she debates asking Anna to accompany her.

It's harder to convince herself to go alone. This time, it's not just a meeting.

She'll see her baby for the first time.

But she and Anna are... okay. Fine. They talk to one another now. Ask about their day and sometimes even smile.

Elsa doesn't want to do this alone; who does she have to call?

She's ten weeks pregnant and on her own. Anna... is the only one she can count on.


	37. Chapter 36

Two days before the appointment, Elsa wakes up with a desperate need to puke. It's her first encounter with morning sickness; she manages to call in sick before spending the day hugging the toilet.

Anna's already at school, and Elsa can't even help it when she begins to cry because all she can imagine (years of dreaming, if she's honest) is warm hands on her back, soothing her.

Not being alone.

When Anna comes home, though, she brings ginger-infused tea and sits with Elsa; distracts her with antics of her day.

It's... really nice.


	38. Chapter 37

It's the holidays, and Anna's at school.

She hates it.

More specifically, she hates the fact that she's got a job, but she still has to waste time interning (as good as volunteering) for extra credit that makes no difference anyway because _everyone_ interns.

Her school's labs aren't even fantastic. Sure, some experience is better, but when everyone else is interning at medical clinics, and she's stuck at some community college. It wasn't her fault everyone got in first!

It's not even like she wants to stay away from home now, either...


	39. Chapter 38

Elsa goes back to teaching, of course (well, more like child minding. It ''is'' the holidays.). With Anna's pitiful allowance, it's a surprise the girl has survived this long. But, Elsa's happy to help out. ''Wants'' to help out.

She's already opened a separate bank account and had her pay deposited.

But, something she's noticed. She's not quite as... sad. Not the bone-weary feeling she's been carrying around for months.

She wonders if Hans' actions only upset her because it was the loss of something familiar, not... not the loss of him.


	40. Chapter 39

The ultrasound technician is gentle as they apply the gel to Elsa's stomach. She's only _slightly_ hesitant about having Anna here, but she's damned if she's doing this alone.

Anna stands in the corner of the room, her eyes transfixed on Elsa's abdomen. The sound of a heartbeat fills the chamber, grey blobs moving on-screen, and Elsa chokes back a small gasp. Her baby. The tech presses another key to still the image.

"Elsa..." Anna's voice rings out, eyes tearing, "is that...?"

The tech nods, smiling. "It is."

And Elsa can barely breathe.


	41. Chapter 40

The drive home is silent. Elsa's clutching a folder – printouts of the ultrasound, plus a DVD. There's some brochures and information packs, too.

They're about ten minutes from home when Elsa sits up straight and gives a cough. "Could- could we do something?"

"What did you have in mind?"

Anna would never say no, because the tentativeness of Elsa's words stings a little, even though she knows it shouldn't. It's barely been a month. They have a working relationship only – none of this 'friendship' crap.

Their situation... they couldn't be friends. Not really...


	42. Chapter 41

Elsa directs Anna to a little bookstore, hidden behind a huge corporate building.

The store doubles as a café, so the whole place smells of rich coffee. Elsa tells her to find a seat as she goes to the counter. Anna tries not to let her confusion show, especially when Elsa returns with a plate of chocolate cake and hands it to her.

"A, uh, thank you... for accompanying me..."

Anna doesn't know what to say. She definitely doesn't deserve _this_.

So... she pushes it into the middle. "Share?" she asks.

And for the first time, they talk.


	43. Chapter 42

Anna forgets to be sad when she and Elsa talk. They converse about the most mundane things, and it's... really pleasant. They talk about school – Anna's studies, and Elsa's class.

Being told that a mother-to-be teaches six-year-olds is... well. Anna didn't expect it, but it fits Elsa perfectly. Elsa and children go together. They match.

But, it's also the holidays, and it's obvious that Elsa is feeling... restricted. Alone, possibly. After all, she is spending the day with _Anna_.

But Anna says nothing. She doesn't want to ruin this.


	44. Chapter 43

It's early afternoon when they get home, but Anna remembers she's got the graveyard shift, and crashes for a quick nap.

All alone, Elsa sits next to the landline, reciting a number in her head. She hasn't actually had a chance to tell anyone of her pregnancy, and... well, she's out of the first trimester. The dangers of miscarriage are slim.

Taking a breath, she picks the phone from the cradle and dials. The line rings for several seconds before a voice on the other end answers.

Elsa takes a breath.

"...Hei, Mamma. Hvordan er du?"


	45. Chapter 44

She takes the news better than expected. There's the required sobbing with joy, before the worried questions begin.

It takes Elsa almost an hour of assurances that she is fine, that the baby is healthy, that she's sorry she didn't call sooner.

And then her mother asks about Hans, and Elsa can't keep pretending.

"He cheated on me, Mamma..." she finally says after several moments of silence. She gives a sniffle and forces a smile, hoping that her mother can hear it in her voice. "But I'm doing okay. We're- _we_ are doing okay."


	46. Chapter 45

The therapist doesn't really have much to say, other than soft congratulations. She's pleased the pregnancy is going well, but it's obvious to Elsa that she has... concerns.

"Antidepressants can be dangerous," she says, laying her pen on her notebook and crossing her legs. "But it could become worse if you stop taking them. I suggest talking to your doctor. I... would like you to stay on them..."

She trails of and doesn't finish her sentence. She doesn't have to; it's Elsa's choice.

"You have a while," the therapist says. "Think it over."


	47. Chapter 46

Anna likes to think that she notices a change in Elsa, but if she's honest with herself, it's probably wishful thinking. The woman is just as quiet and meek as when they met. They still make a general pretence to avoid each other at home – even if Elsa always makes sure she cooks enough food for Anna, and Anna remembers to bring home a chocolate truffle every day from the bakery next to the hospital.

They cut it in half and share it after dinner, and Anna thinks that maybe, in another universe, they could have been friends.


	48. Chapter 47

That thought, after it's contemplated, refuses to leave her head.

 _Friend_. A position in Anna's life that's been vacant of anyone but Kristoff.

Anna is certainly able to admit to herself that she likes Elsa's company. She likes _Elsa_. She's glad they met, but not of the events that surrounded the occasion. It's for that reason she can't tell Elsa.

No matter how much _she_ wants it, there's no guarantee Elsa wants to cross the bridge into friendship. For her, it's just an arrangement.

That thought hurts more than it should.


	49. Chapter 48

Strange as it seems, they lose track of time. When the three-month mark hits, Elsa knows she's grown. They'd bought new clothes when required, but at this point, barely any actually fit – including her bras.

She steps into the living room, where Anna is watching something on her computer, and coughs awkwardly.

She barely fits her pants, and her boobs are practically falling out of her bra. She blushes when Anna's eyes catch on her chest to linger on the slight protrusion of her belly.

"C-can you take me to the store?"

Slowly, Anna nods.


	50. Chapter 49

Of course she wasn't going to refuse, but 'maternity shopping with the guy I was sleeping with's wife' is never something Anna thought she'd do.

They go to the op shops first for regular clothes, before moving onto the department stores for Elsa's underthings.

She'd just gone inside a change room to try on a few bras when the redhead hears a strange commotion. There's complete silence for a moment, until it's broken by what sounds like a broken hiccup.

But it keeps going – it _worsens –_ and Anna realises that Elsa is crying.


	51. Chapter 50

If Anna hadn't been just outside the door, she probably wouldn't even have heard Elsa.

Now, she can't block it out.

She has two options: she can ignore it until Elsa stops and they pretend it never happened, or she can try and offer comfort.

Anna wonders how wrong it is for her to feel like crying, too. It's stupid, but she's a stupid girl. Her own happiness is dependent on Elsa's because how else can she be happy when she ruined this woman's life?

...

She stands up and knocks on the door.


	52. Chapter 51

There's a few painful seconds when nothing happens, but just as Anna's about to knock again, she hears the lock turn.

Elsa's sitting on the flimsy bench in the changing room, arms wrapped around herself in an attempt at comfort. Anna has no idea why she's crying, but that doesn't really matter right now. Elsa gives another sob before she manages to look up at Anna. Neither move for a moment, until her hands twitch and move from her hug, falling open slightly.

Anna doesn't even hesitate when she takes Elsa in her arms.


	53. Chapter 52

They don't mention it. Elsa's therapist urges her to talk to Anna, but she can't worked up the courage.

Their relationship changes after that day. Nothing explicit; really, Anna only notices when she stops to think about it.

Elsa stutters less, and she spends more time in the living areas than in the bedroom. It's still a little awkward, for obvious reasons, but Anna makes a concerted effort to not mention it.

They don't talk about the hug, but sometimes Anna notices Elsa watching her, arms wrapped around herself, a sad frown on her face.


	54. Chapter 53

Anna's dispensing drugs at the local clinic when she sees _him_. The nerve! It's been almost two months and neither she nor Elsa had heard a peep from him.

Hans hasn't noticed her. He's too busy chatting up some brunette, with short pants and a shorter top. The girl actually seems into it, too, if the lip-biting and sex-eyes were anything to go by. Poor girl.

Biting her lip, Anna makes a decision. She steps out from behind the dispensary and pops up right behind him.

"How's your _wife_ doing, Hans?" she sneers.


	55. Chapter 54

Everything slows down. Hans turns, recognising her voice, and his face contorts with barely-concealed rage. The chick raises an eyebrow and says, " _Wife_? Jesus, dude, what's wrong with you?" and stalks off.

Anna just stands there, her hands clasped in front of her. "She'd be in her second trimester by now, yes?" she asks, trying to gauge Hans' reaction.

She doesn't see the slap coming, and it's over before she realises he struck.

Security is called over and he's escorted out; not without a parting remark.

"Fucking _whore_."

That hurts more than the slap.


	56. Chapter 55

Anna's sent home early, the weight of the last few weeks finally catching up to her, crushing her.

By the time she thinks to call Kristoff, she's drunk and surrounded by tissues, her face puffy and red.

When Elsa gets home from... wherever she goes... Anna's openly sobbing. The pain of the slap has faded, and the only one she can really think about is the memories.

Because she's _not_ a whore. Hans was the first – the only – man she ever slept with. He knew that. _She_ knows that.

So why does it hurt _so much_?


	57. Chapter 56

Elsa doesn't see her at first. She walks in, calling out Anna's name, telling her of an appointment she has the following week.

And then she hears the redhead.

Anna is sitting on her former bed, crying so hard she sounds like she's about to be sick. She keeps coughing and Elsa rushes over to try and help; maybe to comfort or calm.

She recoils when Anna pushes her away and shouts, "Don't _touch_ me!"

Anna repeats it, softer, and just beneath her sobbing, Elsa can make out a question.

"Why don't you hate me?"


	58. Chapter 57

Elsa doesn't have an answer. There's nothing she can really say, not while Anna is so distressed.

So she sits on the end of the bed and bites her lip. Anna isn't looking at her. She's clutching her stomach with her eyes squeezed shut, and Elsa wants to hug her just as Anna did in the changing room.

But she can't make herself move, so she remains where she is and answers Anna with a question of her own.

"Why did you do it?"

She doesn't blame her. Never has.

Anna didn't know.


	59. Chapter 58

The look Anna gives her is almost enough to make Elsa backtrack – maybe she _should_ have gone for a hug – but then Anna is wiping her eyes and sitting up straight, and maybe all she needed was to get her mind off it.

"I was-wasn't just gonna leave you," Anna stutters, still trying to hold back her tears. "Y-you got kicked out of your ho-home. Coz of m-me."

Elsa shakes her head. She's already figured that out. "No, I mean... Why did you sleep with him?"

There's no taking the question back now.


	60. Chapter 59

There's silence for a few tense seconds. Anna's face goes slack, as though she can't believe that Elsa just asked such a thing – which is probably accurate. Her eyes well up again, and Elsa almost regrets asking. Almost, because she wants to know. How had this happened?

"I... met him at a bar," Anna begins. "He bought me a drink and called me pretty..."

There's happiness in her eyes. It vanishes when she continues.

"And then we fucked. He took my virginity in a dingy bar bathroom, and I let him because he called me pretty..."


	61. Chapter 60

Elsa doesn't know what to do with that information. Some part of her regrets asking, but another part – a _stronger_ part – wants to reassure Anna; tell her that wasn't her fault. It was her scumbag of a husband's.

Even though she's pregnant, she's grateful. Grateful that she learned such horrors about Hans before her child was born; before everything became complicated.

She glances down at the swell of her stomach. Anna's dissolved into tears, and the sleeves of her shirt are completely soaked.

Elsa pulls Anna close.

"It's not your fault," she says.


	62. Chapter 61

It takes forever for Anna to calm down.

"I wrecked your family," she says once she's coherent. "Kid probably won't even meet their dad..."

"They wouldn't anyway."

The words are out before Elsa can bite them back, and the ensuing silence tells her that she can't even backtrack.

It takes a minute of thought, but Anna eventually ventures with a, "... what?"

And then Elsa's the one crying (because why not, the whole situation is fucked) and she admits something she never thought she'd have to.

"It's not Hans'. It's not his child."


	63. Chapter 62

She keeps speaking, a torrent of words she can't hold back. "He- he wanted a boy, so we went through a clinic. B-but he can't have kids. It took months, he- I knew he was drifting. I thought this could save our marriage."

Her hands moved to wrap protectively around the swell of her stomach. "He doesn't know. I didn't tell him. It's not- you didn't wreck anything..." She swallowed thickly. "I- _I_ wrecked everything..."

And then she's sobbing in earnest, head in her hands and unable to form a single sentence


	64. Chapter 63

There's something to be said about no secrets. There's very little else they can fuck up in their- what, _relationship_? Acquaintanceship? They don't address it. No use dwelling.

Anna still has the weight of cheating on her, but it's lessened. Elsa didn't forgive her that night, but Anna's starting to wonder if Elsa even thinks she _needs_ to be forgiven. Because Elsa isn't happy. Maybe... maybe _she_ wants Anna's forgiveness. Or God's. Someones. She wants someone to tell her she didn't make a mistake, and Anna... isn't that person.


	65. Chapter 64

Everything moves so fast, suddenly. Elsa organises a lawyer when she realises Hans has cleared out their bank accounts. She has no idea what she's doing, but she just wants to stop Hans from taking anything more. They have to settle. They _have_ to.

She doesn't want him to take her child away.

Of course, she admits bitterly to Anna one day, he's not going to be interested in a daughter anyway. Elsa will forever have that burden on her back. She was so desperate, she gave up everything for a child she can't even sustain.


	66. Chapter 65

Anna offers to take her to the OB this time, and secretly, Elsa's glad. It means she doesn't have to take public transport, or walk through those doors alone.

When Anna offers, it means she doesn't have to ask.

Everyone is on edge, Elsa especially. She gets to see her baby today, for real. The lawyers haven't really gotten back to her – they're in 'discussion', whatever the hell that means, with Hans' people.

But as Anna hums along to a song on the radio, Elsa finds those worries drifting to the back of her mind.


	67. Chapter 66

Her hands rest on her belly, and a tremor of excitement runs through her. The tech warns her about the cool gel, and her stomach protrudes enough for her to feel sensitive about it. It's not that she's _fat_ , but the skin is pulled taut, and she's already got lines. Stretch marks that mar her skin and make her feel embarrassed.

But Anna's looking at her stomach from the corner of her eye, and even then, Elsa can see the wonder, shining there.

The tech smiles, and moves the monitor. "Say hello, new mommy," she says.


	68. Chapter 67

"See this round thing here?" she asks, "This is your baby's head."

Elsa claps a hand to her mouth, and her eyes fill with tears and some indescribable emotion. Anna wants to hug her.

"What's that other thing?" she says instead, knowing if she doesn't distract herself, she just might do that. At the question, the tech smiles even brighter.

"The twin," she says, and Anna feels Elsa move, placing a hand over her stomach. "Congratulations."

Anna doesn't bother holding back. Not that it matters.

Elsa is incredibly receptive to her arms, wrapped around her shoulders.


	69. Chapter 68

They're out buying baby things when Elsa gets the phone call. They really need some more stuff.

It's the lawyer on the phone, and Anna gives her some privacy to take it. When she comes back, Elsa's face is blank, and she doesn't look at Anna when she speaks

"He settled," she says dully. "He gets the money and I get the apartment." The _he doesn't care about our child_ goes unspoken.

Anna smiles. "That's great, Elsa!" she says, unsure of why her throat seems to close up at the thought. Elsa just nods.


	70. Chapter 69

It takes more time to pack up Elsa's things than either had expected. Somehow, between the drama and hormones and pain, she'd managed to make Anna's apartment her home. Anna jokes about getting her bed back, but it falls flat.

"...Thank you, Anna," Elsa says softly one night. They're sitting on the floor, folding clothes, and Anna jerks her head up.

"What? Why?"

Elsa shrugs and gives her a small smile. "For being my friend. It was weird, but... I'm glad it happened..."

Once more, Anna can't breath for the lump in her throat.


	71. Chapter 70

Anna ends up accepting extra shifts at work, just to get out of the house. She doesn't really know how she should be feeling, so it's best if she just avoids the whole thing anyway, she thinks. Avoids Elsa.

Besides, it takes them ages to pack up Elsa's stuff. Longer than it should, maybe. But then, Elsa's started showing, and her morning sickness is worse than ever. She probably doesn't feel like doing too much.

But the day that Anna goes to work, she doesn't expect to come home to find the apartment empty.


	72. Chapter 71

The first night alone, she ends up cooking way too much food. By habit, she sets the table for two, and she's actually ready for bed a good two hours before time, mostly because Iron Chef played at 9, and she and Elsa would stay up late watching it.

Anna can't get into the spirit; it was _their thing_ , and without Elsa...

She retires early, looking forward to blissful unconsciousness.

It's weird, sleeping in her own bed. Awesome, coz it's so much more comfortable than the couch.

Just...she never realised how big it was before.


	73. Chapter 72

Elsa's having the same problem. Her apartment – is it a home yet? Is it a home _still_? – is so... vacant. Of life, and warmth, and sentimentality. It's so still. There's no sound of scuffling and stumbling from Anna walking in, dead on her feet after a late shift. None of her snoring, or laughter.

No smell of cinnamon and honey hot chocolate to wake up to.

And it's strange, sleeping in her own bed. Nice, because it's so much more comfortable than Anna's lumpy mattress.

Just... she never realised how cold it was before.


	74. Chapter 73

It takes about a week, but Anna slowly gets used to the change. Or, that's what she tells herself. Anna's always been good at change. This is nothing new.

Only it kinda is.

She calls up Kristoff one night, and he knows straight away something's amiss.

"Is it weird that I...miss her?" she asks softly.

"Of course not," he says. "She was your friend."

Kristoff's voice is tinny on the line, but his words are warm, and they fill her up with a pleasant tingle.

So, it wasn't just her. Kristoff saw it too.


	75. Chapter 74

It's almost like going through the motions, only she's infinitely more aware of the fact that something feels...missing. At least work is busy. Anna spends the day in the hospital pharmacy, filling scripts for pain and blood pressure and depression.

They close at six, and then she goes on to the ER to help with the little injuries. She's not a nurse or a doctor, but she can help with admin. They appreciate the extra manpower.

The last thing she expects to see is Elsa, wandering in at a quarter-to-midnight, looking so, so lost.


	76. Chapter 75

Elsa's stomach is more pronounced, and Anna just wants to put a hand on it and marvel. She doesn't. She just sort of stares, because Elsa is the last person she expected to see. She looks so... soft. If that's possible.

Her eyes light up as soon as they land on Anna, and she takes a few steps forward. Anna's still a statue, silent in shock. It isn't until Elsa speaks up, a soft, "Hi..." that she jerks up.

"H-hi _me_?"

Elsa nods and smiles, and Anna feels her own light up her face.


	77. Chapter 76

Finally, six hours after her shift ended, she signs out. Elsa doesn't have a car, but her apartment is only a few blocks away. Why is she here?

"I rang your home line," Elsa says, preempting any curious questions. "I... wanted to see you..."

They're on the sidewalk when Elsa speaks, and Anna's grateful that, in the dark, she can't see her blush.

"Coulda picked a better time, Els," she says, even though, to her, there couldn't have been.

She gives in, then, to her wish for touch, and she pulls Elsa into a hug.


	78. Chapter 77

It may be dark, but Anna can feel everything worth noting. The tenseness of Elsa's shoulders, and the small shiver she gives at being touched. She seems so small in Anna's arms. As soon as they pull away, her own cross protectively across her chest.

"Do you wanna maybe get a coffee? Or a hot chocolate, considering the time?" Anna asks softly.

Elsa looks at her for a second, before smiling and nodding. And, it isn't a little, tentative smile. It fills her whole face, and Anna notices for the first time... just how beautiful she is.


	79. Chapter 78

Somehow, they find themselves at the same coffee shop they'd had their first conversation; the same tobacco-smelling woman is even here, serving a young couple more interested in each other than her.

"My shout," Elsa says, as soon as they sit down. "You got me last time."

She smiles, and it's like an in-joke – except, should they really be able to laugh about it?

But Elsa _is –_ Elsa _can_. She seems so happy. Independence looks good on her. She's so put together now. All she needed was... this. Freedom. Away from everything.

Away from Anna?


	80. Chapter 79

Elsa can't ignore the bags under Anna's eyes. She's worried, but she can't stop her own giddy smile. Her heart wants to beat right out of her chest, and she can't blame it.

She's talking to an old friend. Elsa hasn't thought of Anna as "my husband's mistress" in weeks. Months, probably.

"Work keeping you busy?"

Anna shrugs. "You know, bills to pay. No point going home-" She cuts herself off, but the words weigh heavy in the air. It's the closest they've ever come.

Elsa looks away. "Yeah. Bills..."


	81. Chapter 80

The waitress comes up and takes their orders. Anna wants a coffee, but it's too late for anything caffeinated. There's silence, and neither speak until they're nursing their drinks.

And then Anna asks how life is, and everything spirals.

Elsa positively _gushes_ about revamping Hans' old study into a nursery, and how now, with stable lodgings, she's begun looking at furniture.

"It sounds perfect," Anna says into her drink. She doesn't see Elsa's tight smile.

"Almost," Elsa murmurs. She continues before Anna can say anything. "But how are you? How's work? And Kristoff?"


	82. Chapter 81

How is Kristoff? Anna's kinda... fallen off the radar a bit. He's left a few texts, but Anna hasn't replied. They haven't spoken since before Elsa left.

"Busy with work, like me," she decides on, not _really_ lying.

She waves away refills as Elsa nods, but a silence falls between them, filled with things they want to say but can't. Anna looks to the clock when it becomes unbearable. She has to look twice because they can't have been here for an hour. A warm hand stops her when she rises from her seat.


	83. Chapter 82

"I should be going," she says, eyes fixed on Elsa's hand on hers. Elsa isn't looking at her when she asks, "Do you... wanna move in with me?"

Anna gapes. Her mind blanks – how can she answer that? But Elsa doesn't expect one. They part ways after Anna drops Elsa home. She isn't sure what they are to each other, but she can make sure Elsa arrives home safe.

Sleep doesn't come easily. When she calls in sick to work the next day, the nurses wave her off. They saw the stranger. They get it.


	84. Chapter 83

It takes a whole week before they meet up again, and Elsa still doesn't know why she asked that question. She doesn't blame Anna for not answering, either.

It was stupid and foolish, but... some small part of her had hoped Anna would say yes. Would agree to intertwine their lives again, this time on purpose because... they were friends. To Elsa, at least.

When they meet up, it's because Elsa can't get to sleep with someone ringing her buzzer, and she... doesn't really want to when she hears Anna's voice from the intercom.


	85. Chapter 84

To Anna, Elsa still looks small, despite her swelling stomach. She's swathed in a bath robe that swishes about her ankles, looking... _motherly_... in both appearance and spirit.

To Elsa, Anna still looks exhausted, despite the grin that appears when she steps through the door.

"Hey," she greets warmly.

Elsa's reply is just as soft, and with only a lip-bite to show her trepidation, she leads Anna to the living room. She leaves to get some tea and biscuits.

Anna's left alone, and all she can think is foul memories of last time she was here.


	86. Chapter 85

They sit and chat, but it's awkward. Anna can't think what to say, and Elsa just doesn't speak. Anna almost refuses when Elsa offers a tour, but she can't at the look of shining hope in her eyes.

Nothing much has changed, really, though Anna only ever saw the bedroom and bathroom. Elsa's kitchen is sleek and expensive-looking, and the photos of her ultrasound have replaced Hans entirely.

She hesitates before stepping into the master bedroom. Elsa's rearranged the furniture and put on a sunflower bedspread, and Anna...

Anna just wants to cry.


	87. Chapter 86

She gives a tight smile before Elsa begins to lead her off to the nursery. She has to excuse herself to the bathroom before she breaks down completely.

Elsa's so wonderful and _kind_ , and wasn't she supposed to be the emotional one because hormones?

It takes a few minutes to somewhat compose herself. When she opens the door, she almost walks straight into a frowning Elsa.

"Haven't you forgiven yourself yet?" Elsa asks softly, answer already obvious. "I- you're my best friend, Anna," she continues softly. "How could I do that if you were at fault?"


	88. Chapter 87

She doesn't answer Elsa's question, and though Elsa doesn't push, she's... cautious. They finish the tour with Elsa showing Anna the nursery, and asking if she's thought anymore about moving.

Anna asks when would be a good time.

It's a lot easier to justify moving in when she takes emotion out of it, Anna later thinks. Her lease is up. Wesel-dick is putting up rent. Elsa's place is actually closer to both the hospital and uni.

But the knowledge that Elsa _wants_ her to move in, she knows, is the real reason.


	89. Chapter 88

Anna takes a week off work pack up everything. Together with Elsa, they go through boxes throw out dozens of garbage bags. Kristoff takes her furniture because Elsa already has what she needs.

They're looking through her mementos when Anna notices how quiet Elsa's been. Her mouth goes dry when she sees what Elsa's picked up.

Standing up, she almost rips the photograph when she pulls it from Elsa's grasp.

"That's nothing," she says.

Elsa doesn't argue. The picture of twelve-year-old Anna holding a young boy is already seared into her mind.


	90. Chapter 89

The next time Elsa goes to the OB, she comes away with an actual due date. She comes home and draws a heart around Valentine's Day, smiling softly to herself.

"Perfect day," she says, and Anna smiles right along with her.

She's just over halfway through her pregnancy, and the change is astounding – and not only in her size. Elsa confides, late one night, that the doctor's taken her off one antidepressant, and reduced the dose of the other.

She looks so fucking proud. Anna smiles.

"That's great, Els," she says softly. She actually means it.


	91. Chapter 90

There's still a month before school actually resumes, and Anna takes advantage of the fact that her living expenses are effectively halved by taking a whole week off from work. She slums about in her pyjamas and eats cereal for lunch.

She's probably a really shit roommate, thinks she should apologise when Elsa spots her. Elsa frowns a little before returning to her room, and the chocolatey milk curdles in Anna's gut for a moment.

But then Elsa reappears in her own nightie; she grabs a bowl of cornflakes, and sits on the couch next to Anna.


	92. Chapter 91

They both become busier. Anna's preparing to go back to school, and Elsa needs to organise lesson plans and maternity leave. She hasn't officially told her boss that she's pregnant, but- well, it's pretty obvious at this point.

At least they don't have to worry about rent – Elsa owns the apartment, so they really only need to pay for water and electricity. Food and luxuries and netflix.

It means that Elsa can finish out the year and go on leave over Christmas.

It'll be nice, Anna thinks, spending the holiday season with someone again.


	93. Chapter 92

"How do you feel about reducing these visits to once a month?"

Elsa's eyes widen at her therapist's question. She tries to swallow, but it's thick and dry. Her weekly appointments gave her some routine, some normalcy, when she had none. This is one of the few times she can talk to someone who understands.

She bites her lip. "I don't know..."

The therapist nods, then asks another question. "Elsa... do you mind if I talk to Anna?"

Elsa doesn't answer. Does she really want Anna to talk to her therapist?

"...Can...I be there?"


	94. Chapter 93

The therapist just wants to talk to Anna at first. Elsa can't say she isn't scared, but at this point, there's very little she hasn't said.

She doesn't know what they're talking about. She sits in the waiting room, ignoring the other people just as they ignore her. There's a little girl, maybe seven, staring at her stomach. She's called away soon after, though, leaving Elsa alone to her thoughts.

Anna opens the door only a few minutes after, beckoning Elsa in. She looks nervous, which only makes Elsa feel the same.


	95. Chapter 94

No one says a word at first. Actually, the doctor is the first to break the silence.

"I think you two have something very powerful," she says. "Few people could make a situation like this work, and even fewer would try. You're both very lucky to have each other."

Then suddenly, the session's over and they have an afternoon free of obligations. Elsa's not sure what she was expecting, but it wasn't that.

Anna looks at her and smiles.

"Hey," she says, "Wanna watch a movie and pig-out on chocolate?"

Honestly, Elsa wants nothing else.


	96. Chapter 95

"We should take time-lapse pictures!"

The words are spoken in an excited rush, halfway through an ad about free range eggs. Elsa turns to stare at Anna, who rolls her eyes at the expression.

"Come on, it'll be fun! Everyone does it!"

The corner of Elsa's lips quirk. "Takes pictures of themselves getting fat?" she sasses.

"No. They take pictures of themselves growing a baby. You have two!"

"Anna, I'm almost twenty weeks. It's too late to start," Elsa argues.

"Pfft. It's never too late. Come on, trust me with this!"

Reluctantly, Elsa nods.


	97. Chapter 96

"Fine," she says. "You'll do it anyway, even if I say no." Anna squeals.

"Yay! Lemme go get my phone!"

"Wha-?"

Anna's already returning when she grins, "No time like the present, Els. Now take your shirt off and stand against the wall."

Elsa grumbles at her, but does as she's told. The shutter clicks, and Elsa throws her shirt back on. She slumps on the couch and ignores Anna, but Anna's looking at the picture anyway so it doesn't matter.

And all Anna can think is that.. Elsa's made to be a mother.


	98. Chapter 97

Anna's at work when she gets an invitation to a going-away party at a local bar. A girl she works with is leaving, and is popular enough that a huge shindig is necessary.

It also means she won't care if Anna brings a guest.

Elsa can't drink, but it's more about getting out of the house. Out of her own head. Sometimes she's just so _quiet_. Anna has work, but Elsa doesn't; she has no idea how her housemate spends her time.

Plus, it would be nice just to go out with her.


	99. Chapter 98

The party's on the final Friday of the holidays. Anna's managed to get the weekend off, so she and Elsa could technically stay out all night. They're not, obviously, but they _could_.

The bar is a little more active than they expected; music's a little louder, atmosphere a little thicker.

It makes Elsa feel old. She's only twenty-seven, but that's seven years older than Anna. The girl looks so young, even beneath yellowed halogen bulbs.

She's too young to deal with this shit. She should be out having fun. Not... not babysitting.


	100. Chapter 99

The music is loud and throbbing. Elsa's led straight to the bar where Anna orders her a "virgin vodka orange!", getting a drink for herself too. Elsa rolls her eyes, but she can't help smililng because happy Anna is kinda adorable.

They slum around the bar for half an hour. Elsa, ballooned like she is, isn't really up for dancing, but Anna keeps looking at her writhing coworkers, and the strangers they're with.

"You should go dance," Elsa offers.

Anna looks at her. "You don't mind?"

Elsa laughs. "I'll be fine. Go have fun."


	101. Chapter 100

Elsa only catches a glimpse of her every now and then, but it's pretty obvious Anna's having fun. Elsa kind of wishes she could go out and dance, but it probably wouldn't be a good idea.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

The voice is male, and an incredibly unwelcome intrusion. Elsa turns up, turns _around_ , and points to her stomach.

"Not interested, buddy," she says. He just looks, eyes widening.

"Hey, that's pretty hot," he says, and Elsa's kinda wants to be sick. She wants Anna to help.

But, Anna's nowhere in sight.


	102. Notes 2

Holy hell, one hundred chapters. I honestly didn't think I would make it, but here we are. Thank you, everyone, who has supported me. I know it's slow going, and we're only halfway through the pregnancy! This will continue after Elsa has her babies, at least for a little while because Elsa + babies is too good to pass up.

I just... really do want to thank everyone. Updating might be a little more sporadic due to assessment, but I am hoping to increase, in the future, the number of chapters released every mon/wed/fri.

Cheers!

– Fruipit


	103. Chapter 101

She leaves the guy at the bar. He doesn't even notice because another chick immediately takes up her vacated seat.

Carrying her glass of water, Elsa skirts the edges of the dance floor, keeping an eye out for familiar red – not that she's particularly successful. The floor is writhing, with few lights to help. Anna's wearing- wearing a green spaghetti-strap top and jeans. Elsa's eyes rove over the crowd, her heart sinking for each moment she can't see Anna.

It's not- she wouldn't leave, not without Elsa. So where did she go?


	104. Chapter 102

Anna actually has no idea who she's dancing with. There's a warm body pressed at her back, hands on her hips and grinding hard, and honestly, that's all Anna really cares about at this stage.

It doesn't take long her to turn around, chest-to-chest with her partner. It takes even less time for them to be mouth-to-mouth, either. And then they're not on the dance floor anymore, instead Anna's against a wall, a hot body pressed against hers, soft breasts and smooth skin, and it all just feels so...

Nice.


	105. Chapter 103

Elsa sees her not long after. Her lips curl into a little smile because Anna's having fun. She _needs_ to go out and kiss a girl because she can. She's young enough to still be _able_ to do things like that.

They have enough money for a taxi home – well, Elsa does. Hopefully, if Anna does pick up, she'll go to the other girl's place. Elsa doesn't need to hear that.

She's happy for Anna. She _is_.

But... her eyes fall to her protruding stomach, and she knows it's not the whole truth.


	106. Chapter 104

There's hands in her hair and a thigh between her own. Anna's so close already like, wow has it really been that long? She's a bit scared, if she's honest, because she's never like, done this with a girl. With anyone who wasn't a lying prick.

So she just keeps kissing, rolling her hips and letting her fingernails leave little half-moon imprints in the girl's skin.

"D'you- d'you wanna get outta here?" she asks. Because that would be... really great. And this time, no one's going to get hurt.


	107. Chapter 105

The girl pulls away a little and gives Anna an odd look. Her head tilts, and Anna's eyes flicker away. The land on Elsa, for a moment, before the girl, still pressed against her, speaks.

"I'm not like, gonna sleep with you," she says. Anna's heart jumps to her throat the same moment her stomach sinks, and it's already hard for her to breath. "I'm not too keen on finding out if the carpet matches the drapes, sweetheart."

With a rough shove, Anna pushes her away. The girl gives a snort, "Whatever," and walks off.


	108. Chapter 106

In a combination of alcohol and tears, Anna stumbles across the dance floor. She gets in two shots before she breaks, and it's only a gentle hand on hers that holds her together.

Arms linked, and Anna leaning heavily on her, Elsa leads them outside. Anna wipes her wet cheeks with trembling fingers. She seems to be pulling herself together as they begin walking home, but only a few seconds later, she gives a howl, arms wrapping around Elsa as she shakes.

Elsa just lets her cry, arms holding her together.

"I got you," she murmurs. "I got you."


	109. Chapter 107

She wakes up hot. The sun's beating down unpleasantly on the side of her face, but it's not just that.

Elsa opens her eyes only to find a head curled against her chest. That, and- oh. That's- that's her hand. Elsa peers down.

Anna's fist is curled, the back of her fingers pressed against the swell of Elsa's stomach. She shifts a little, leaning in closer. Elsa's eyes trace the line of her jaw. She's so _young_.

She rolls away from Anna then, and leaves.

Before she does something she'll regret.


	110. Chapter 108

She's watching some daytime film when Anna stumbles out. All things considered, she looks pretty good, actually. She doesn't head towards the kitchen; instead she plops on the floor and rests her head on Elsa's couch.

"Cool..." she murmurs, and Elsa smiles.

"How're you feeling?" she asks softly. Anna shrugs before tapping her head.

"Here? Not bad." Her hand moves to sit atop her chest. "Here? Still stings a little..."

But then, she stands up. "Anyway." She brushes off the conversation as she heads towards the kitchen, and doesn't give Elsa a chance to comment.


	111. Chapter 109

Her elbows on the bench, head in her hands, Anna lets out a groan, soft enough so that Elsa doesn't hear it.

She shouldn't have said that. She shouldn't have said anything at all. Shouldn't have drawn attention to it and- sure, okay, Elsa forgave her for what happened with Hans. Didn't mean she could go out and kiss someone. After all, it wasn't like Elsa could find that happiness at the moment.

She stands up straight as her eyes widen. Oh god. What is Elsa going to say about her kissing a _girl_?


	112. Chapter 110

Heaving a breath, she pours a bowl of cereal and returns to the living room. Elsa keeps glancing at her when she thinks Anna can't see. She's pretty sure she knows what Elsa's thinking.

 _Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it-_

"How about we do something today?"

Surprised, with wide eyes and confused because _she didn't ask_ , Anna looks over at Elsa, who gives a little shrug. "Last day of holidays," she says, as though that's an explanation. Swallowing a mouthful, Anna gives a tentative smile.

"What were you thinking?"


	113. Chapter 111

It's late afternoon by the time they arrive at their destination. Elsa wanted to walk, and the fresh air does Anna good.

She's never been to this particular promenade, running right along the East River, but Elsa seems familiar. They pass an ice-cream shop, and Elsa promises to buy Anna one before they leave.

Elsa leads them both to a park bench, and they take a seat. The sun's started to go down, bringing oranges and reds into the sky.

"This is my favourite place in the whole world," Elsa says.

Yeah, Anna can believe that.


	114. Chapter 112

It's a perfect way to end the holidays. Tomorrow starts the daily grind, but today, they have peace and sunsets.

Anna watches as Elsa bites back a smile and glances down at her stomach. "When I moved here, I got lost. I didn't have a car and the buses were so confusing – my hometown is tiny, we can walk everywhere. So, I didn't know where I was when I stumbled across this place, but suddenly I didn't feel so lost. Whenever I need to think, I come here."

Anna just reaches out and takes her hand.


	115. Chapter 113

They leave not long after sunset. There's no fucking way they're walking home in the dark, so Anna calls a cab while Elsa gets their dessert.

It's homemade, and Anna's long since finished hers by the time the taxi rocks up. Elsa didn't go for a cone, so she's still taking little spoonfuls. Anna likes the way it makes her smile.

"Thanks for today," she says, once they're safely ensconced in the cab. "I had a lot of fun."

Elsa smiles, "I've never shown anyone before. I'm...glad it was you."


	116. Chapter 114

The next few days – weeks – mark a return to normalcy. Elsa's principal stares at her for a full five minutes the first day back, before calling her to her office to have a "chat".

"So." Principal Oswald picks up a pen, then puts it down again. "This is... unexpected," she says.

Elsa offers a half-shrug. She probably should have said something earlier.

"I'm uh, not due until February," she says. "It's no problem."

The principal nods. "I heard your husband..." She trails off meaningfully.

"I'm fine," Elsa says. Her boss nods and lets her go.


	117. Chapter 115

The kids are absolutely fascinated with Elsa's new look. They crowd around her, little hands touching her belly in the strange kind of reverence that only children can achieve.

"D'you have a baby in your tummy, Miss Elsa?" Belle asks, once everyone's calmer. Elsa nods and bites her lip.

"Two. I have two babies."

At the news, the class murmurs amongst themselves for a second before another child raises his hand.

"What're their names?"

Elsa blinks. "Uh, we haven't decided yet." She's got books on pregnancy. Maybe she should get one on baby names?


	118. Chapter 116

She catches the bus home because Anna can't pick her up, using the opportunity to visit a bookstore, and get her prescription refilled. The doctor's reduced her dose, and she can feel it. But this way is better for the babies.

It's later than she would have liked, by the time she gets home. Anna's making some kind of curry, and standing in her own kitchen, Elsa feels a little lost.

She shouldn't – it's _her_ kitchen. But... there's something about Anna standing there that shoots a pang of longing through Elsa's heart.


	119. Chapter 117

At first, she thinks it's the curry. She doesn't normally eat hot food (like, ever. Even if the curry wasn't even that hot), so the rumbling in her tummy seems normal. Almost like indigestion without the burning sensation.

And then, a thump.

Anna's talking about school, ranting about something or other when Elsa plucks her hands from their midair dance and presses them against her stomach.

"Elsa, what are you...doing..." She trails off when she feels it, and her eyes seek Elsa's. "Oh my god," she says. Elsa nods, her hands covering Anna's.


	120. Chapter 118

It's kinda amazing, feeling the babies kick and move around. Anna's never been this close to someone pregnant before – never close enough to touch. She felt bad if she _stared_ for too long.

They sit there until the babies settle down, but Elsa doesn't move her hands. She's staring at them, chewing on her lip. She mustn't have realised they've stopped moving.

Anna gently extricates her hands, a soft smile on her face. "That's amazing," she says. The smile that lights up Elsa's face is just as good. Maybe, maybe even better.


	121. Chapter 119

Anna goes to bed soon after, but Elsa's stuck awake, thinking.

Her right hand fiddles with the rings on her left. A gold band, with two names engraved on the underside, and diamonds inlaid around the edges. The engagement band is even worse, an extravagant diamond right in the centre.

Now that she thinks about it, Elsa... doesn't really like them that much. White gold, or silver, were always her colours. These aren't particularly tasteful, but when Hans told her how much he'd spent, how could she say no?

She rips them from her finger. Enough.


	122. Chapter 120

They go out to dinner a few nights later. It's a celebration, and Anna has a bit of extra cash because living with Elsa is cheaper.

Elsa tries to pay but Anna refuses, and if she's honest with herself, it's really nice. It's not- it's not a _date_ , but like. Going out somewhere nice, with a friend. Elsa hasn't done that in ages; can't even remember the last time Hans took her anywhere.

It's warm and perfect, and Elsa realises that, despite their differences... in Anna, she's found a lifelong friend.


	123. Chapter 121

"How have you been since our last session, Elsa?"

Her therapist has a soft smile, and Elsa thinks maybe she's showing a little more than last time. She shrugs and smiles.

"Better. The, uh, lower dose has been fine. I took off my rings the other day..."

This piques her therapists' interest, obvious in the way she leans forward. "What made you decide to do it then?" she asks. "Why not earlier?"

Elsa shrugs. "For so long, it symbolised what I wanted. I didn't want to destroy that hope. But now, I don't feel sad. Just... lighter."


	124. Chapter 122

Anna's in the waiting room, talking to to the seven-year-old and her mother, and as Elsa walks out she's reminded of her own staring match with the little girl.

Back when the therapist had wanted to speak to Anna, about something she hasn't yet shared.

The knowledge sinks her heart, just a little, but she understands. Anna doesn't have to say anything – it's not like Elsa discusses her sessions, either.

But, she _is_ curious. Anna... Anna's an open book, but some of the pages are missing. Elsa just has to find them.


	125. Chapter 123

The next few weeks absolutely fly by. They keep taking pictures as Elsa becomes rounder, and the babies get more active.

The fact that there are two mean she doesn't get particularly restful sleep. Her back hurts and her boobs are more sensitive than ever.

But even though she's tired and sore, she's also happier than she's ever been. She'll come home and do some grading, or she'll catch the bus and meet Anna at university. They go grocery shopping together, and it's _fun_. For the first time, it's not a chore.


	126. Chapter 124

Kristoff invites them to a Halloween party, because why not? Elsa's excited because she likes Kristoff; plus, a social setting with Anna would be nice. She's excited to get out of her studies, and Elsa can't blame her. She looks so tired all the time.

Regardless, she still comes home with a smile, or a hug, or a touch to the shoulder. Their lives are almost domestic, which is what makes it painful. Maybe she doesn't even notice.

So, Elsa says nothing. Even if her bed is still too large, in desperate need of some warmth.


	127. Chapter 125

Coming home is Anna's favourite part of the day. It's warm and clean – not school or work. It's relaxing.

Plus, she's been thinking. Ever since that night at the bar. It's mostly faded to a dull memory now, but she _does_ remember crying. Hugging Elsa and being hugged in return. She's never really had a friend she could call on like that.

It's why she doesn't mind driving Elsa places. Picking her up for appointments, or picking up food for cravings.

Now, Elsa's her best friend. And she is Elsa's.


	128. Chapter 126

Kristoff's party is on a Friday. Elsa's got a doctor's appointment right after school, so Anna offers to pick her up and drive her.

She...likes going. Gets to see the babies. Gets to see Elsa smiling about babies.

When she enters the classroom, she doesn't expect twenty-eight little eyes on her. Elsa beams at her; touches her shoulder and introduces her to her class.

"This is Anna," she says. "She's my friend."

A little girl with brown curls about her shoulders sticks her hand up and asks, "Are you Miss Elsa's wife?"


	129. Chapter 127

Elsa's the first to regain her wits. "Not- no, we're uh. Anna's just a good friend." The little girl pouts.

"But she's so pretty!" she says. Elsa's eyes widen and she blushes. Anna finally finds her voice, and it's Elsa obviously never planned for this.

"We're just very good friends," she says. "Best friends. You have a best friend don't you?" The girl nods. "Well, it's just like that."

She frowns, obviously not believing them. "Well, I think you should."

Then the bell rings, and Anna's never felt more grateful.


	130. Chapter 128

Elsa's officially in her third trimester. The babies are happy, which makes _her_ happy, and they spend about ten minutes cooing at the ultrasound monitor because now they actually look like real babies, not just blobs.

Anna keeps that thought to herself.

Actually, she's completely not listening, so when the ultrasound tech says something and Elsa looks at her, she's got no idea what's going on. "What?"

"Elsa says you're in healthcare," the tech says. "Do you know any midwives that would be able to help?"

She doesn't, but she can always ask around.


	131. Chapter 129

There's actually another appointment after the ultrasound. Like, a real appointment, with a doctor and everything. It's the first time Anna's been here for that, but Elsa tells her it's not the first appointment. Maybe one of those things, when they shared ''her'' apartment. Elsa had her little adventures.

The doc is happy Elsa's reduced her dose, but he still gives her a month supply of pregnancy vitamins. Iron and folate and yeah Elsa does look quite pale...

And then he takes Anna by surprise when he asks, "Have you looked into birthing classes yet?"


	132. Chapter 130

They – _Elsa_ – hasn't. She doesn't look at Anna when she shakes her head.

"Not yet. Do you have any recommendations?"

Her hands rest comfortably on her tummy, and Anna feels like she doesn't belong. Elsa's on top of this.

But Elsa looks at her and _smiles_. "One that doesn't discriminate? If you're willing to help, Anna, of course. I want you to be there for practise, and the real thing."

She erupts in a blush and looks away, and Anna can feel her own cheeks heat up.

Elsa wants her there. She _does_ belong.


	133. Chapter 131

The doctor gives Elsa some brochures to read over, and she's surprised to see they're not all on birthing classes.

 _Hospital versus Home: where should you have your child?_ is written in big, bold letters on top of one pamphlet. She looks at him.

"I don't need this," she says, "I want to have a home birth."

She feels Anna's eyes on her, but she doesn't turn away from the doctor. "No drugs, either."

That was how her mother gave birth. Elsa doesn't need them either. She just needs home, and someone to help.


	134. Chapter 132

The doctor frowns. "We can try, but sometimes there are factors that change the circumstances."

Elsa frowns. "What do you mean?"

"Well," he starts, "This is your first pregnancy, and you're having twins. The risk of bleeding is greatly increased, as is hypertension and premature labor. Does your family have a history of birth complications?"

At that, Elsa blanches. "My mother, she miscarried several times before me," she starts. "I was premature." The doctor nods.

"Think it over, but the best bet would be at hospital, where if anything goes wrong, we can help."

Elsa just nods at him.


	135. Chapter 133

"Why'd you wanna do it at home?"

Anna's been wondering since Elsa voiced it, and maybe because she works at a hospital, but she can't imagine not having doctors around to help. Elsa shrugs, and looks out the passenger window.

"In Norway, we only go to the hospital if it's absolutely necessary. Some don't even allow drugs. So, why would I do it if I can be comfortable at home?"

There's a sudden movement from Anna, and Elsa looks at her in surprise. "What?"

Anna shakes her head. "Nothing. I just- you're Norwegian?"


	136. Chapter 134

Elsa's a bit surprised at the question. Perhaps her accent isn't as prominent as it once was, but is it really a surprise? Then again, they don't talk all that much about things that aren't in the now.

"I am," she answers. "I moved here after I married. It's been almost seven years now." The admission prompts another question.

"Hold on. Aren't you like. Early-twenties?"

A wry smile rises to Elsa's lips. "I look that young? No, I'll be twenty-eight this December."

"Oh."

Anna doesn't say much after that.


	137. Chapter 135

They duck home quickly to get changed. Elsa's actually wearing maternity dresses now – she's got a black one and a witches hat, just for fun. Anna has an old nurse's outfit, but she's actually a little embarrassed by it. It fits better than ever, but it's weird, now that she knows how old Elsa is. It feels... juvenile.

Anna wonders... is that how Elsa sees her? Younger, less mature? Even though it shouldn't, that thought makes her a little sad, and she throws the costume back into her cupboard.

"Aren't you dressing up?"


	138. Chapter 136

Elsa's ready to go and Anna's in her day clothes. She shrugs. "Don't have a costume." Elsa smiles.

"I'm sure I have a spare one..." She turns to her closet and begins rifling through clothes. She pulls out a Setesdalsbunad and it's not even that revealing but it's so obviously Norwegian and it's _Elsa's._

She takes it, tentatively, and asks Elsa to make sure it's on right. Elsa's tummy nudges her back, and something zips through her veins, lighting them up. She isn't sure what to make of that.


	139. Chapter 137

Anna sets about mingling as soon as they arrive. Kristoff's managed to get a nice house in the Hamptons – a coworker's, apparently, who's on holiday in Florida. It's almost 9pm when they arrive, just because the drive took so long.

"You don't mind if I drink, do you?" she asks, about ten minutes into the party. "Kristoff said we can stay here in the spare room..."

Elsa doesn't mind at all. It is a _party_. "Just don't go too crazy," she says. Anna gives a bashful grin before she leaves for the kitchen.


	140. Chapter 138

Elsa finds Kristoff, because he's the only person she knows. She keeps an eye out for Anna, but she's vanished into the garden. It's a nice night.

"Hey, Elsa!" Kristoff greets. "How are you? How's living with my little monster- I mean, sister?" he winks.

She lets out a little laugh. "Anna's not that bad," she insists. "Good company, and a reasonably good cook."

Kristoff snorts. "Nah, you just like having a personal chauffeur, right?" Elsa's still smiling when she shrugs.

"It's nice, having someone else around."

 _It's nice having Anna around._


	141. Chapter 139

They sit and chat, at least until Kristoff has to play host.

"There's soda in the fridge if you want," he says; then, he's gone.

Anna's popped in a few times, getting steadily drunker. Each time, Elsa just encouraged her to return to her friends. She's the one being boring and sober.

And tired. A glance to her watch shows that it's almost 11, and she's just not made for late nights anymore.

Maybe it's time to find Anna; doesn't want her to worry. Elsa feels ready to crash at any minute.


	142. Chapter 140

She's not in the house, which makes sense because it's not a huge place anyway. The backyard smells like cigarettes, and Elsa resolves not to spend too long out there. Not that- second hand smoke, for like, half an hour probably won't do much damage. But still.

It's darker, and quite loud and crowded. The music is set up outside, so while it was quiet inside, Elsa can feel it reverb through her bones. Even so, she actually hears Anna – her laugh – before she sees her.

And then her heart stutters, cold, for one brief moment.


	143. Chapter 141

Anna's in the corner, drink in one hand and cigarette in the other. The light from the house illuminates half her face, and in her costume, she looks... beautiful.

And Elsa's not the only one to notice.

She's with two guys, laughing and chatting. They're standing too close – but, it's not jealousy, filling Elsa's chest. It's something more akin to dread, especially when one of them steps closer. He leans down, hand coming to rest on Anna's hip as he whispers something in her ear.

Her laugh carries clear across the garden.


	144. Chapter 142

Elsa watches her stumble a little as she giggles, and the second guy moves closer to steady her.

That, if nothing else, is what convinces her to move.

As she gets closer, she can see little plastic shot glasses, once filled with jelly-vodka, now empty. The smell of weed fills her nose, and it just gets her moving faster because that means she's drunk and high and oh _god_ what if something happens? Just the thought of Anna being hurt again makes Elsa want to cry. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if something happened.


	145. Chapter 143

She can feel them, both of them. One in front of her, smiling, and the other one at her back. He's warm – they both are – and Anna just wants to soak it up. She deserves a little happiness.

She takes another draw of the joint, sighing pleasantly as the chemical fills her lungs. She has another urge to giggle, so she does. Her drink is empty, and she looks up – maybe there's a cooler nearby.

Her eyes meet Elsa, standing prone in the middle of the lawn; suddenly, the good feeling in her head and her stomach vanishes.


	146. Chapter 144

Elsa. She left her alone. It's a party and she _left her alone_.

Anna lurches forward. One guy tries to stop her, hand gripping her elbow. Anna jerks from his grip, but he follows her.

"Leggo a' me!" she slurs, just in time to feel someone else step close.

"Back. Off."

Elsa's voice is dangerously low. The guy looks like he's going to argue, but decides it isn't worth it. As soon as she's free, Anna flings her arms around Elsa, the embrace deepening when Elsa returns the gesture.

"You okay?"

Anna nods. "'M now..."


	147. Chapter 145

Elsa doesn't make her let go. Doesn't make her talk, even though she _must_ be angry. She has to be.

"Do you wanna go inside?" she finally asks. Anna gives a pathetic little nod, and privately, she mourns the loss when Elsa lets her go.

It's so much quieter in the house, it's almost scary. There are only a few people floating around – maybe a half-dozen? Most seem to have either left, or moved outside. Elsa pauses for a moment, silently communicating with Kristoff, before she takes off again, leading Anna to a closed door.


	148. Chapter 146

It's even quieter when Elsa ushers her into the room and closes the door. There's a spare bed in the center, and Anna moves there automatically. She keeps her head down and turned away.

She wants to cry again. God, all the crying.

But she deserves it. Elsa must think she's such a child. Who goes to parties and gets drunk and high? Stupid kids, that's who.

"I'm sorry," she rasps. "Please don't hate me. God, I'm such a disappointment..."

The bed shifts. "You aren't, Anna," Elsa murmurs. "You're absolutely wonderful."


	149. Chapter 147

The words fill Anna with a warmth she's unfamiliar with, but she doesn't say a word. Elsa seems to understand.

Her arm is around Anna's shoulders, and neither move until the weed wears off and Anna droops sleepily. She's aware when Elsa shifts, pulling the blankets down and pushing her towards the middle. It's a big bed, but when Elsa gets in, she stays a respectable distance away.

The lamp clicks off, ensconcing them in darkness. Anna's not sure what makes her ask, in a tiny voice expecting rejection, "Can I have a hug?"


	150. Chapter 148

It's stupid – Elsa probably wants to sleep, and hey, didn't she already get a hug? But she wants- _needs_ to be closer to Elsa right now, in ways she doesn't have words to explain. She's felt it before – that yearning to be near someone – but it's been months. She's doing fine on her own.

But there's something about Elsa being so close. The space fills up with Elsa's warmth and aroma, and Anna feels... safe.

Here with Elsa is even better than those guys. At least... at least Elsa cares about her.


	151. Chapter 149

Slowly, Elsa moves closer. She's hesitant – that much is obvious. But still she wraps her arms around Anna, pressing close, and Anna breathes a sigh of relief.

Words would have broken – _ruined_ the peace they have, so Anna doesn't say a word. She just nudges her head a little closer, closing her eyes and remaining silent, hoping Elsa understands.

Maybe she does, because she murmurs words dredged up from a long-ago memory – "I got you. I got you, Anna" – and that's all Anna's ever really wanted anyway.

Someone who cares... and someone who wants her.


	152. Chapter 150

When she wakes, there's a warmth at her back, with soft arms wrapped around her middle. Elsa's snoring, just a little, and Anna just wants to go back to sleep.

She tries, but then Elsa moves a little closer, belly pressing into the small of Anna's back. Slowly, Anna turns around, ready to awaken her friend.

The words die on her tongue. Elsa's eyes flutter behind the lids; long eyelashes rest on cheeks dusted with freckles. Anna's never been this close to her before, and that scares her because...

Because she wants to be closer.


	153. Chapter 151

They don't speak about the previous night. Anna forces the unwelcome thoughts of that morning away, too, and instead focuses on the now and near-future.

Such as breakfast. Breakfast is fine. It's normal.

It's totally normal to want to take Elsa to this fantastic little café she's visited before (they make the _best_ bacon and egg breakfast sandwiches around). It's normal because Elsa is her friend.

Even if she's only just noticed how much that means to her, it's _still_ _normal._

It will be, so long as she just keeps reminding herself.


	154. Chapter 152

Elsa doesn't seem to notice Anna acting weird. Either that, or she's ignoring it, just putting it down to the previous night.

Anna's 100% a-okay with that.

Breakfast is just as good as she'd promised – Elsa has a coffee and pancakes, while Anna goes for the sandwich. It's not long before they're back on the road, driving the several-hours back home.

It's kind of unbelievable that they put so much effort into going to a party. After the morning's revelation, Anna's not sure if she regrets it or not.


	155. Chapter 153

They hit the road and Elsa keeps glancing at Anna out of the corner of her eye. The redhead doesn't seem to notice, focussed completely on the road. Elsa's a little worried.

Anna's barely spoken a word, and she doesn't seem too keen on looking at her.

Is she... embarrassed about the previous night? Because there's no need to be. Elsa's not sure how to bring that up to her so she just says the first thing that comes to her head.

"When I was nineteen, I got so drunk I broke a door."


	156. Chapter 154

"What?"

There's confusion on Anna's features, but also a slight hint of laughter. It _is_ pretty random.

"I broke a door," Elsa repeats, giving a rueful grin. "I don't even know how, but I woke up the next day with it literally hanging off the hinges."

Anna lets out a brief snort of laughter, before she sobers up. "Why... are you telling me?"

Elsa sighs. "We all do stupid things when we're drunk. Do things we might not normally. I don't... you seem down about something and if it's last night, you shouldn't."


	157. Chapter 155

They don't say anything after that. Elsa decides to take a nap, mostly to give Anna some space to think.

The other reason is simply because she's pregnant and tired, and if she's asleep, then she doesn't need to pee.

Anna doesn't blame her. There's a peacefulness when she sleeps. A softness. Elsa deserves every moment, Anna thinks as her eyes flicker to her swollen stomach. All of them

And her story... She only said it to cheer Anna up. There was no need. To make Anna happy, she only has to be there...


	158. Chapter 156

Anna's got three weeks of exams (or thereabouts) and then the weekend off for Thanksgiving before going back until Christmas.

It makes her life all very hectic. Several times, Elsa has to shake her awake from where she's bent over the coffee table, a terrible soap on TV as pure background noise to her studying, dozing on her textbooks.

She's working too hard, but it means the awkwardness of Halloween disappears amongst the stress and exhaustion.

Anna simply doesn't have time to think about Elsa and how she feels towards her. Or, what those feelings mean.


	159. Chapter 157

"Heya, Feistypants!"

Kristoff's voice is exuberant over the telephone, and Anna kind of just wants to groan because she doesn't have the time or patience for this. She's in a bad mood, so he should be too.

"Whadda you want?" she growls. Kristoff just laughs her off.

"D'you have plans for Thanksgiving yet? Ma's putting on a huge shindig and told me to tell you."

Oh yeah, Thanksgiving. No, Anna doesn't have plans, but now that he's mentioned it, she does wanna go and see the old gang again. It sounds like fun.


	160. Chapter 158

"...Can Elsa come?"

Of course she can, if she wants, he says. It was a stupid question, but better than rocking up unannounced.

Anna hangs up not long after (when they run out of things to say, mostly). There'll be plenty of time to catch up. She gets up to ask Elsa, but something forces her back down.

It's _Thanksgiving_. Family. And she wants to invite Elsa. The warmth in her chest spreads, fighting over the coldness that settles in her throat.

Friends invite each other to Thanksgiving all the time, right? It can't hurt to offer...


	161. Chapter 159

Elsa's grading papers in the kitchen – little short stories designed to test spelling – when Anna finally plucks up the nerve to leave her room. Anna hears her, coughing and sniffling, before she sees her.

"Hey," Elsa greets, voice congested; it sounds like she's getting sick. Thoughts of Thanksgiving pushed from her mind for now, Anna approaches her.

Elsa's face is flushed red, eyes watering a little. She's wearing two jumpers, even though it isn't that cold yet, and Anna doesn't think as she carefully presses the back of her hand against Elsa's forehead.


	162. Chapter 160

Elsa's definitely sick – she's practically on fire. She looks surprised at the contact, but doesn't move away. It's only when Anna realises how close she's gotten that she steps back.

Brain desperately trying to catch up with her actions, she flounders for a second. Luckily, Elsa speaks before she has to think of something.

"I'm _fine_ ," she stresses, staring Anna down. It's ruined when she begins coughing, and then doesn't stop. Anna's hand rubs circles into her back, helping. When it does abate, she just says softly,

"No, you aren't."


	163. Chapter 161

Anna calls in sick for Elsa the following day. She's gotten worse, forcing Anna to pop down to the nearest pharmacy for some hydralyte and a ventolin puffer. Elsa can't take any cough medicines or anti-inflammatories – a shame for the fever – but paracetamol can still help.

Mostly she's mad about being bedridden, and Anna's not about to tell her that she _likes_ taking care of her; how it fills a little spot in her that's been empty for years. But that's not something Elsa needs to know.

Not... not when she feels otherwise.


	164. Chapter 162

They end up having to go to the doctor because two days later, Elsa's at the point of coughing green until she pukes. Turns out it's a chest infection, so she gets some antibiotics.

It's makes her better, thank goodness, but she comes to Anna on Saturday afternoon, all embarrassed and meek. Uncomfortable is probably the word, and it makes Anna's heart quicken with trepidation.

"I've got a...thing..." Elsa says. Anna looks at her blankly, so she tries again. "Y'know. A... thing."

Nothing. One more try.

"Antibiotics? And pregnant? A _thing_?"

Oh. That.


	165. Chapter 163

Yeast infections are terrible things to deal with. No wonder Elsa had looked so uncomfortable. She's also limited in her options, too. No tablet. No pessary. No applicators. In the words of the pharmacist, "just use a finger". Elsa had blushed bright red and Anna had focussed on it because it was better than the alternative.

Actually, she distracts herself with thoughts of Thanksgiving, even though she's mostly talked herself out of inviting Elsa – surely the blonde has her own celebration? But then Elsa brings it up on the way home, asking if they can do it together.


	166. Chapter 164

"I'm going home with Kristoff," Anna blurts. Then, she winces because, oh dear, did Elsa mean together, just the two of them? Or together, like, as long as they're at the same celebration?

Elsa settles into the passenger seat with a small, "Oh," and wow she really needs to get better at communicating. Except... maybe it isn't that. Elsa's not bad at it, she just... probably isn't used to someone listening.

"We've already organised everything," Anna starts again slowly, "But I _know_ Ma would love it if you came. If-if you'd like..."


	167. Chapter 165

Elsa doesn't need to bring a dish to dinner, but it's tradition and she she wants to share some Norwegian cuisine. Anna eyes her skeptically until she agrees to bring sweets, not fish heads or whatever they ate. It gets a little chuckle out of Elsa, which just sets Anna's mood for the rest of the day.

Even when the humour has passed, Anna still has a really stupid smile on her face. She knows she does, she can feel it. But, it's too good to hide away. Especially when Elsa smiles back, soft and warm.


	168. Chapter 166

Elsa puts on her best dress (that still fits) and bundles up in a warm sweater and scarf. It's not snowing, but it looks like it might. Anna feels like a marshmallow, with like five layers on – she's probably rounder than Elsa at this point.

But Elsa seems a little concerned that she's not going to be dressed up enough, or polite enough. There are so many possible _faux pas_ , and she's never really done a full-on Thanksgiving.

"It was always just us," she admits. It makes Anna determined to have the best one yet.


	169. Chapter 167

Her mother greets her with a warm smile and a tight hug – one which Anna returns gladly, squeezing hard enough to lift the ageing woman from the ground. Elsa gets a hug, too, but she responds only with a gentle pat on the back. It's cute, and Anna stifles a giggle behind her hand at how obviously out of place Elsa feels.

It only worsens from there.

"I, uh, thought it was just you and Kristoff..." Elsa mumbles.

Perhaps Anna should have warned her. She wasn't Bulda's first kid, and certainly isn't her last, after all...


	170. Chapter 168

At least thirty faces pause in their fun and turn to look at the two guests. Anna recognises most of them, but she hasn't the chance greet them individually before a few of her "extended relations" break out in a massive grin.

"Anna's back!" one says.

"And she brought a girl!" cries another.

A third voice pipes up somewhere behind them. "It's bad manners to make a baby before marriage, Anna." Her mother's smiling. Ugh.

Anna turns to Elsa, who, poor thing, is just standing there. "Let's get you inside," she says. _Away from everyone_.


	171. Chapter 169

Everyone calms down after that. There are other people to greet, and they probably all realised how terribly Elsa was coping, being in the spotlight. Anna ends up taking her to one of the spare rooms so she can have a lie-down, because being pregnant is hard enough work and because it all just becomes too much.

"Nice girl," her mother comments while Anna's helping prep the potato salad.

Anna nods. "Yeah..." she murmurs softly, more to herself than anything. Her mother gives her a knowing look, but says nothing. Not that it really matters anyway.

She knows.


	172. Chapter 170

She can't save Elsa from the inevitable interrogation. Her meddling mother drags the poor girl away as soon as she reappears from her snooze.

"Mother stuff, dear," she'd said to Anna. "Nothing to worry about."

Anna's absolutely worried.

They'd returned about twenty minutes later, just as the turkey is coming out of the oven. Elsa's smiling, so it mustn't have been too traumatic. She keeps touching her stomach, and Anna can't help but smile too.

She tries to hide it when Bulda turns her eagle-gaze to the redhead, but she fails. Miserably.


	173. Chapter 171

They don't close their eyes when they say grace. Everyone holds hands and looks at each other, because it's family they are grateful for. Bulda starts off, looking at Elsa when she mentions new beginnings; she looks at Anna when she speaks about remembering.

Most of the people here don't have parents – this, Elsa knows. She gives Anna a look, but her friend says nothing, keeping a smile up for the whole meal.

Elsa's spent enough time with her to know it's fake, but she doesn't pry. Anna will share, when she's ready.


	174. Chapter 172

Lunch hadn't started until late, which means that it _goes_ until late, and so everything else just keeps getting pushed back. It's really late by the time they've cleaned up and got their tupperware containers full of leftovers. Actually, it's gotten so late that Elsa refuses to get in the car with Anna because neither of them can stop yawning.

Her mother looks _delighted_ at the prospect of a sleepover. Anna sends her a sleepy glare but says nothing as they prep the guest room.

...The single guest room with a single bed and no radiator.


	175. Chapter 173

Anna's off rifling through the linen closet when Elsa corners Bulda. She has questions the stout woman can help with.

"Hey, Bulda..." Elsa begins. "I was just wondering something... Erm, why did you... look at Anna when you spoke of remembering...?"

Bulda frowns. Not an emotional one. A thinking one. "Why don't you ask Anna?"

At that, Elsa gives a little shrug. "I don't want to pry and upset her."

"Oh, I don't think it's possible for you to make Anna sad," Bulda says, smiling. "I think you make her too happy to be sad."


	176. Chapter 174

Elsa doesn't have a chance to think on Bulda's words. When she returns, Anna's found the linens, and also a sleeping bag. Elsa only notices because Anna's currently lying in it.

On the floor.

Goodness gracious.

"You're going to catch a cold," Elsa says, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind her. The only light comes from a single lamp, but it's enough to light Anna's eyes.

"Nah, I'll live. You and bubbies need the bed more."

"I'm not that big," Elsa says dryly before climbing in. "Come on."


	177. Chapter 175

Anna only hesitates a little. She only hesitates _at all_ because she doesn't want to seem too eager, and also... the bed is kinda small. It isn't that Elsa's too big for it, but it's a _really_ small bed. Closer to something a child would use.

But Elsa's looking at her expectantly, and Anna can't find it in her to argue.

She does make a point of pouting and grumbling, but it's ineffective when he has to do a funny little dance because the floor is a lot colder than she was expecting.


	178. Chapter 176

She gives a little shiver when she slides in. The warmth is absolutely wonderful, and Anna has to quickly turn the lamp off so Elsa can't see her blush. The blinds are open, and from it they can see a light sprinkle of snow, drifting to the ground.

"That's not so bad, is it?" Elsa murmurs. Anna has to suppress another shiver.

"Hah, yeah... won't have a sore back or... yeah."

She jumps when Elsa's fingers wrap around hers; can't help but look when Elsa says, in a small voice, "Thanks for inviting me, Anna..."


	179. Chapter 177

Anna freezes for a second. Elsa's fingers tighten around hers, and she feels compelled to say _something_.

"Well, it's not like I could bring Olaf."

She winces not a second later.

It's too late to backtrack, and she feels Elsa shift, curious eyes searching her. The light shining in through the window is just bright enough to illuminate their faces.

"Who... who is Olaf? One of your friends? I'm sure Bulda wouldn't have minded an extra mouth. "

Elsa's smiling; there's nothing can prepare her for the sight tears, running down Anna's cheek.


	180. Chapter 178

Anna doesn't move for a while. Doesn't all this time, it still forces her to her metaphorical knees.

Elsa doesn't need to know. And Anna trusts that she won't mind, either, if she doesn't. But... Anna can't. Or, she won't. She wants to share that with Elsa. She wants to share... everything with Elsa...

"Olaf. My little brother," she eventually murmurs. "You've seen him, already. That old photograph."

Elsa's eyes widen in understanding. She wants to ask, but fears the worst. She was right.

"My little brother and I... killed him..."


	181. Chapter 179

Elsa doesn't push for details. She just holds her friend.

Eventually Anna does speak. The tears have stopped, but she still sniffles a little. In a way, it's also cathartic. She's never told anyone before.

"I was... twelve. Olaf was four. I thought he'd- people don't want a twelve-year-old to take care of. Too much work. Too much hassle. I told them to split us up. I wan- wanted to give him a chance, y'know?"

Elsa nods, though with a sinking heart, she has an idea of where this story is going.


	182. Chapter 180

Silently, Elsa listens to the rest of the story. How they had been separated.

How the dad's alcoholism flew under the radar.

And, how Anna never had a chance to say goodbye.

Elsa's hands wrap around her belly at the thought. Anna notices, and her expression hardens.

"I know better now," she says softly. Fiercely. "Never again."

Elsa smiles, and Anna finds herself drawn. To her face and her grin. To her entire being.

She can't help but lean forward, nose coming to touch Elsa's.

She's in complete control, however, when she closes the distance.


	183. Chapter 181

She starts sobbing again as soon as Elsa's lips touch her forehead. As soon as warm arms come to wrap around her shoulders and pull her as close as possible, and then even closer.

Elsa's silent, even as several tears leak over her own cheeks. This moment is for Anna, and she wishes she were able to help ease her friend's suffering.

But, there's nothing. Anna has lived with this guilt for a very long time, and there's Elsa can't do anything assuage it.

It takes her a very long time to fall asleep.


	184. Chapter 182

The next day is strained, but only a little. Anna's honestly just exhausted. She still feels on the verge of tears every other second, which makes her much more high-strung than usual.

But... waking up with Elsa's arms around her...

It gives her a peace she'd been too distraught to recognise. Anna wishes it would last forever.

But, all good things end.

When they emerge for breakfast, no one mentions how red Anna's face is, or how her voice wavers from time to time.

Elsa's arm always finds its way back around Anna's.


	185. Chapter 183

They end up having to stop at a roadside diner for lunch. It's mostly shit food, but they share a sundae afterwards and Anna finally feels lighter. Less burdened. She actually smiles, and she knows it's because of Elsa. For Elsa.

She wants to reach out and touch her, constantly. Hold her hand and get another hug, just because it felt so perfect.

Anna's known for a while now how stupid this is. But now, after the fragility of the night before (or perhaps because of it), she feels ready to be just a little more open.


	186. Chapter 184

While it's always a pleasure, visiting the little boardwalk on the river, Elsa actually has no idea why Anna's brought her here today. She's tired from the travel, and the night before, and she honestly just wants to curl up under her duvet and sleep. Last night wasn't particularly restful.

But Anna seemed so keen on coming here, so she doesn't say anything

Anna hadn't really explained herself – all she said, with that same expression, was that she wanted to do something nice. Wanted to share a moment.

It is a very beautiful sunset.


	187. Chapter 185

Elsa's really liking the peace, and she'd be happy to stay longer. As it is, though, it's getting dark, and late, and she's cold and needs to pee. The joys of pregnancy.

She's just about to suggest that maybe they head home when she feels Anna's handing, reaching over to take hers. Anna's still staring across the river when she speaks.

"Thank you," come the quiet words. She turns her head, and Elsa's struck breathless at the sudden intensity in her eyes.

Then, she can't breath for an entirely different reason.


	188. Chapter 186

Elsa can't move for a moment. Doesn't know what to do, with Anna's lips pressed against hers. They're soft and gentle, kneading against hers in a way that's perhaps a little more instinct than skill, and she finds her breath catching in her throat. She can't make herself close her eyes.

So Elsa just sits there until Anna lets go. Her lips are parted, damp, and Elsa just feels queasy for having noticed it first.

She pulls her hand away. "P-perhaps we should head home," she suggests, looking down.

Anna doesn't argue.


	189. Chapter 187

Anna hadn't meant to to that. She'd only wanted to hold her hand, perhaps tell Elsa – _verbally_ – how she felt. Ask if it were reciprocated.

She can't look at her on the drive home. She doesn't want to see the way Elsa holds herself; taut, strained, and leaning away.

But neither can she stand the silence, so she rambles on about stupid shit – the weather, dinner, her classes. Anything that comes to mind, because the last thing she wants to think about is what she's just done.

It's a valiant effort, but ultimately futile.


	190. Chapter 188

Elsa's able to convince herself everything is okay. Anna _seems_ okay... Surely she didn't expect Elsa to react any different?

Except... it becomes obvious that she did. They get home and Anna quietens. Begs off dinner and goes to bed early for a class she doesn't have. And Elsa lets her be because this is rejection. And it's hard and it's painful.

It's not until she walks past Anna's bedroom, hours later, that she realises _just how painful_.

That she realises just how hurt Anna is.

And she really shouldn't be surprised.


	191. Chapter 189

Anna doesn't want to cry. She doesn't want to be sobbing her heart out, alone and heartbroken in her room, but there's nothing she can really do about it.

She barely lasts until she closes the door, so once she starts, there's no hope of ever stopping. Pressing her face against her pillow until she feels like suffocating, she curls in on herself, unable to forget how Elsa looked at her, shock and sadness on her features.

Anna's sobs begin anew.

Of _course_ Elsa didn't like her.

How stupid to think that she would.


	192. Chapter 190

It's easy to hear the bad thoughts after that. It's like she can't help them. Elsa's having a child soon. The last thing she needs a stupid _kid_ mucking up her life.

Anna's so selfish, putting this on Elsa now.

But god she's so _lonely_. Elsa alleviates that, makes her forget all the shit. Simplifies her life and makes it... whole.

Her heart aches, feels like it's dissolving because Elsa gives her so much, so how can she add any value to Elsa's life?

She can't.

 _No wonder Elsa said no._


	193. Chapter 191

Sitting just outside Anna's door, Elsa can't – _won't_ – block out the sounds of her heartbroken sobs.

It's obvious she misjudged the situation; she'd expected a more subdued Anna, perhaps a slightly-sadder Anna.

But this... this doesn't stem from a crush, or simple affection. How could she have been so _blind_?

Swallowing, she makes her decision. Elsa stands and taps gently on the door, wincing at the sudden silence from within.

"Anna? May... may I come in?"

When Anna replies, it's so soft – so _forlorn –_ that Elsa barely hears her.

"Please... don't."


	194. Chapter 192

She tries to pretend it was insignificant. Like it didn't hurt; that she wasn't praying for another outcome. She can still feel the way Elsa kissed. Or, rather, they way she didn't.

Jesus she spent all last night in tears. How does she even have any left to cry?

She walks, face still sticky and eyes raw and grainy, towards the bathroom. Before she makes it, something makes her pause. Something she was hoping to avoid.

Elsa's sitting in the kitchen, nursing a cup of tea.

She turns around before Anna has a chance to escape.


	195. Chapter 193

"Anna..."

Anna's heart stutters pathetically at the sound of her name.

She's usually so good at hiding how she feels. Evidently. But it's just... such _hard work._ Now, she doesn't _want_ to hide. She wants to share her anger, her pain. Share her _humiliation_.

But she can't do that to Elsa. Not now and not ever.

She's about to walk back into her room when a soft voice calls out. "Anna, can we talk?"

Heart sinking, she turns back. "It's fine, Elsa. I'm sorry I... did that. It won't happen again."


	196. Chapter 194

For the first time in months, Elsa goes back to her therapist. It's almost a relief, seeing a friendly face.

Even now, Elsa doesn't really have friends of her own.

That's something she tells the shrink. Not the only thing, of course. She can't forget the reason she's actually here.

"Anna... kissed me," she says eventually, about twenty minutes into the session. "I- I didn't realise she felt like that. I don't know when it started, but now..." She trails off with a sigh.

The therapist leans forward. "How do _you_ feel, Elsa?"


	197. Chapter 195

It should be obvious. Elsa quirks her head. "Oh, well, I mean. I'm pregnant with twins. A single mom. Not to mention I'm almost seven years older than her." The therapist lifts her eyebrows, and Elsa looks away, chewing on her lip. "I feel like she should be pursuing other people – more appropriate people. People who won't hurt her. I want her to be happy."

"So what will you do now?"

At that, Elsa finally smiles. It's not a happy one – more resigned than anything. "I'm going to be there for her. As a friend."


	198. Chapter 196

Anna knows love hurts. She discovered that at a young age when she lost her parents, and then when she lost her brother.

But even after all this time, she didn't think it would _still_ be causing her pain.

It's obvious what she has to do: ignore the feelings. Brush them aside, and get over Elsa because there's never going to be any reason for Elsa to... to _settle_ for Anna. She's too damaged at this point.

Elsa is so beautiful, and so kind...

Anna doesn't deserve her. Doesn't deserve that kind of goodness.


	199. Chapter 197

In order to move on, she decides, she has to put herself out there. Just because every single romantic pursuit thus far had ended in failure didn't mean that they would continue to do so in the future.

Right?

So she tries. It's hard to make friends at uni, but she can try for work. Go out for drinks afterwards. She does, and it's nice, but also... not what she's looking for. She wants... she wants someone to love her, completely and unequivocally.

So, colleagues are out, but there is one other option she could try.


	200. Chapter 198

It's probably a really stupid idea, Anna thinks. Stupid enough that she spends a long, cathartic hour talking to Kristoff on the phone while Elsa's out.

She doesn't know where she's gone. Didn't ask, and Elsa didn't offer. Though, with their _avoidance allemande_ , it's not really a surprise.

"If you think that's what you need, then go for it," Kris says. And it might be what she needs, but it's not really what she wants. It's what she has to do in order to move on and repair her heart.


	201. Chapter 199

It's a blind date.

A blind _internet_ date.

A blind internet _Tinder_ date, and Anna's already regretting it.

She's got no issue with meeting people online, though it really isn't her forte. Not when her date is twenty minutes late and visibly deflates when he sees her. He gives it a good go but she's not what he was expecting.

Disappointing people isn't exactly new, but it's still just as upsetting each time.

When he says, "I'll text," she knows he won't. She smiles.

Plenty more fish in the sea. Right?


	202. Notes 3

Wow, thank you to everyone who has followed and faved and reviewed this little (big) fic! Honestly, it began as just a way for me to keep writing during busy points (obviously it didn't do a great job lol) but just seeing how it has grown is amazing! I'm not 100% happy with the way some things have panned out, but that's okay. Don't worry, these girls will get together in the end. They always do!

I hope you continue enjoying this. Hopefully I'll wrap it up in the next 100 chapters or so :)

–Frui


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